11.09.2011

Confidence=Arrogance?

So yesterday I had my fourth shift of precepting. I would LOVE to say that it has been going great. Sadly, there seems to be an issue. A generational issue. The fact she is more than twice my age and the way our generation speaks is not what she is used to. I am going to try to explain what happened to you guys. 


One mistake on my part lead my preceptor to call my professor, which is okay and understandable. My preceptor then told my professor that I am arrogant and that I talk too much. Arrogant? ARROGANT?! I am far from. As a student, a measly student to a nurse that has been practicing for 20 years, I will have the nerve to be arrogant? 


More than anything, I am CONFIDENT. I carry myself a certain way. I do not show fear and I refuse to let anyone break me. And even if I am feeling a certain way on the outside I refuse to show it. Especially in nursing where "nurses ear their young" I have to have a protective shell. 


{SIDE NOTE} My teacher is so wonderful and of course she will always take her students side, called and spoke to me for an hour last night. I explained to her what has been happening recently. She gave me a lot of reassurance and gave me tips on how to finish strong. 


So back to the arrogant comment. Obviously since my preceptor doesn't really know who I am as a person is just judging me after four shifts. I do not know if its that the unit we are on is very stressful and things said can be misconstrued while under pressure. But that comment hit me like a TON OF BRICKS.


And to say I talk a lot, um no. I talk a lot about the information I am trying to learn, I am constantly making sure I understand the information she tells me about the patient. Is that a crime? I feel that sometimes she doesn't have patience for a student and she fails to remember that I need constant guidance. 


She also said some other things about me that made me say wow. But I am not going to allow anyone to take away my determination and shine. She will fail terribly if she tries. I got this far, I am 1 out of 8 students that's left in my class, I am strong.


This Sunday I have another shift, but I am going to act like my professor didn't tell me anything. I will use my communication skills that I learned in my leadership class and take it one day at a time. 


SIGH. So to say the least, four shifts down SEVEN shifts to go.... :/ 


Positivity Beckons Positivity,

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